Understanding the Mother of the Bride

Every bride dreams of her wedding day. While she is brainstorming ideas it’s easy to forget that there is one person who has been imagining her wedding day even longer, the Mother of the Bride.

If parents express that they are interested in helping plan the wedding or that they’d like to contribute to a specific task, its best to think long-term.
How will it impact your relationship with that individual if you tell your Step Mom that she can’t bake the wedding cake?
Is there another similar task that you could substitute it with (say, baking the groom’s cake) that will keep her happy, avoid offending her and still allow you to have your dream wedding?

Consider also that weddings are emotional days. While the Mother of the Bride may be eager to say she’ll help set out place cards two months prior to the wedding, on the day of the event she will be too busy and frazzled.

Do not assign the Mother of the Bride any tasks that must be completed within two weeks of the wedding. While she’ll be eager to take on tasks, the reality is that she will become stressed as the wedding date approaches.

Throughout the planning process the Mother of the Bride may recommend her opinion or try to influence your plans. When confronted with a difference of opinion, remember that she has a dream for your wedding as well. Think of the situation from her viewpoint and consider how you want her to feel when she looks back on your special day in the years to come.

Remember that parents get emotionally wrapped up in their children’s weddings and are easily hurt – sometimes for years.
Focus on preserving and strengthening your relationship with the Mother of the Bride and then brainstorm ways to make her happy while still getting the day that you want.